Perhaps, you and your spouse were having marriage problems for years before you decided to go your separate ways. Then again, maybe a specific event, such as an affair, convinced you that your marriage was over. Either way, filing for divorce in a New Jersey court means you will experience numerous changes in life.
Change is a part of life. The fact that divorce will change your life is not as critical to your ability to move on without your spouse as your reactions to those changes might be. It’s helpful to build a strong network of support from the start.
It’s OK to grieve the loss of your marriage in divorce
By the time you actually file a petition to divorce in a civil court, you might be feeling like you never want to see your spouse again. If you have children, you know that completely cutting ties is highly unlikely. On the other hand, you might start feeling sad or lonely, even missing your spouse as you take your first steps toward a new lifestyle.
It’s OK to be sad that your marriage didn’t work out. It is also OK to cherish any happy memories that you have of the time you and your spouse spent together. Experiencing a sense of mourning is a common part of divorce-related changes in life.
Friendships might change when you divorce
Having a trusted friend by your side as you work toward a settlement in divorce is definitely helpful. Don’t be surprised, however, if you lose a few friends in the process. You might have a friend who feels a sense of loyalty to your spouse. He or she might not feel comfortable maintaining a friendship with you.
Your kids might not be with you 24/7 anymore
When you divorce, you and your spouse must agree to a child custody plan. It’s logical to assume there will be days that your children spend away from you while they are visiting their other parent or living with him or her if you are the parent with visitation rights.
It’s only natural to miss your children while they’re away. The sense of missing them might run deeper, as though you miss the time in your life when your whole family was intact. If you’re struggling with missing your kids after divorce, it’s a good idea to reach out for support from someone who can relate to your circumstances.
Tapping into local resources for support
Your community might have a support group where you can share your feelings and listen to others as they tell about their own experiences regarding divorce. You might want to seek counseling from a licensed professional.
There are also legal advocates in your community who can help you overcome any complications that arise during proceedings, especially regarding child custody, child support or property division issues. Changes and crises are usually temporary occurrences in life, and if you know where to seek support as needed, you can be confident that you and your kids are going to be OK.
