If you’re in the very early stages of divorce or have recently separated from your ex-spouse, people may have asked you if you’ve considered going through mediation. You’ll probably have heard all sorts of stories about how it’s either worked out great or, in some cases, just added fuel to the fire.
So, how do you know if mediation is right for you? Or, more importantly – how do you know if it’s not?
1. You’re not on speaking terms
For mediation to work, you and your ex-spouse need to be in a position where you can talk to each other. If there’s too much animosity and every conversation turns into an argument, you may not be in the position to reap the benefits of working with a mediator.
2. There’s a history of domestic violence
This can cause difficulties for a number of reasons. The repercussions of domestic violence can be devastating. It can make it difficult, or even impossible, to be in the same room as your ex-spouse if you’re scared of them. If they have drug or alcohol issues, too, this compounds the situation as they may not be in the right frame of mind to be able to compromise or talk rationally.
3. There’s no desire to reach an amicable solution
Both parties need to want mediation to work if it’s going to have any chance of success. If one, or both, parties are unwilling to agree on such things as custody arrangements and child support, then it’s unlikely the process will result in a meaningful resolution.
Having said that, there are often many workarounds that can be put in place to facilitate the process. People also often find that while there may be some resistance at first, their ex-spouse will work with them and the mediator after a few sessions.